The Skald’s Spotlight vs. the Leader’s Connection
Experience is a double-edged sword—an incredible asset, but also a potential blind spot. As leaders climb the ranks, it’s easy to lean into telling captivating stories, sharing expertise, and aiming to be the most interesting person in the room. But leadership isn’t about stealing the spotlight—it’s about turning it onto others.
Before we go further, let’s define what a skald is—given I've chosen to use it in the title, it's worth explaining the relevance. Over the last couple years or so, I've binge-watched a lot of Viking series, which got me thinking about the role of the skald in Viking society. In Viking times, a skald was a poet, storyteller, and historian—a key figure responsible for crafting and sharing the epic tales of Norse culture. Similar to bards or scops, they wove words to entertain and preserve history, focusing on the deeds of kings and warriors.
The skalds were masters of performance, but they weren’t leaders. Their goal was to captivate, not to connect on a deeper level. And while the ability to tell a compelling story is certainly valuable, leadership requires more. A leader’s role isn’t to keep the spotlight for themselves but to share it—asking questions, listening intently, and creating an environment where others feel valued and heard. This is where the shift from being interesting to being interested begins.
The Allure of Being Interesting
After years of honing skills, gathering accolades, and building expertise, it’s natural to want to share those hard-earned insights. After all, being interesting can inspire your team, command respect, and affirm your role as a leader. It’s rewarding to be heard and recognized as an authority.
But here's the problem—when the focus stays on being interesting, it can make others feel overshadowed. Instead of drawing people in, it can unintentionally create a divide, making team members feel like passive listeners rather than active contributors. They become the 'extras' in a scene or just part of the audience—detached from the actual work and outcomes. Overemphasizing your own story can drown out the voices that need to be heard. It risks creating an environment where people hesitate to contribute because they feel their ideas aren't needed—or worse, not valued at all. This ultimately stifles opportunities, weakens team morale, and limits the diverse perspectives that fuel innovation and growth.
The Power of Being Interested
Flipping the script—_moving from being interesting to being interested_—can change everything. When you shift your attention outward, becoming curious about your team, peers, and competition, you unlock new insights and forge deeper relationships.
Being interested means asking questions—not just the surface-level kind, but the ones that dig into what drives people, what they’re passionate about, and what challenges they face. It's about showing genuine curiosity in their ideas and their struggles. Instead of jumping in with your own experiences, you pause, giving them the space to share theirs. This kind of questioning shows that you value their perspective, making them feel seen and heard.
It also means truly listening. Not the kind where you're just nodding along while formulating your next response, but listening in a way that makes the other person feel like the most important voice in the room. When you focus fully on what someone is saying, without the urge to jump in with your own thoughts, you build trust. This type of listening tells your team that their words matter, and it encourages them to speak up more freely.
And, being interested means recognizing and valuing others’ contributions. It’s about letting people know that their input has a real impact. When you acknowledge someone’s idea, and they can see how it shapes the team’s direction, it reinforces that they’re not just a bystander—they're an integral part of the process. This is how a leader turns a team into a community, where every voice counts.
Why This Shift Matters
When you shift to being interested, the effects are profound. Trust and loyalty deepen because people want to feel heard. When they see that their leader is genuinely paying attention and values their input, it deepens their commitment and sense of belonging. This kind of openness also leads to increased innovation and creativity. The more voices you invite into the conversation (within reason), the more creative solutions emerge. Curiosity has a way of pulling the best ideas to the surface, ideas that might otherwise remain hidden.
Furthermore, taking the time to understand others is a critical step towards enhancing your emotional intelligence. Building on the foundation of trust, it allows you to truly see the world from another person's perspective, deepening your ability to empathize and relate. Empathy isn't just a 'nice to have'; it's a transformative force that fosters genuine human connections and creates meaningful impact, particularly when nurturing future leaders. When your team knows that you genuinely understand their experiences and challenges, trust deepens. People become more invested and motivated to follow your lead because they see that you care about them as individuals. As a result, they grow more quickly, remain committed longer, and contribute more deeply to the team. Empathy turns leadership into a shared journey—one where everyone feels valued, understood, and inspired to move forward together.
This foundation of empathy naturally leads to true collaboration. When people feel valued, they no longer view one another as competitors vying for recognition. Instead, they see themselves as part of a cohesive effort, contributing their best for the collective good. Collaboration becomes an organic process rather than a forced one, fostering a culture where everyone genuinely works together to achieve shared goals.
How to Make the Shift
To make this shift, start by being present in your conversations. The next time you're in a meeting, pay attention to whether you’re thinking about what to say next or truly hearing what's being said. Practice pausing before you respond, giving yourself the space to genuinely listen and giving others the room to express themselves. Being present means resisting the urge to dominate the conversation and, instead, focusing on facilitating the voices of others.
Creating spaces for sharing is another essential component. Establish forums where team members can freely share their ideas—without judgment, just pure curiosity and exploration. This might look like setting up brainstorming sessions where every voice is heard or simply ensuring that quieter team members have opportunities to share. When people feel that there is a space designed specifically for their input, they're far more likely to contribute.
Inviting feedback is also key—but it's important to show that you genuinely want it. Ask for input on your leadership style and make it clear that their feedback will have an impact. When people see that their insights lead to real changes, they feel valued, and they’ll continue to open up. Feedback is not just about receiving compliments; it’s about growth, and true growth requires vulnerability and willingness to adjust.
Mentorship is a powerful tool, but to foster genuine growth, consider mentorship as a two-way exchange. Pair experienced leaders with newer team members and encourage them both to share and learn from each other. This kind of two-way mentorship creates a culture of mutual respect and continuous learning, breaking the hierarchy and focusing on shared development.
Finally, reflecting regularly on your leadership approach helps maintain the focus on curiosity over authority. Take a step back and ask yourself if you’re leading a discussion or merely broadcasting your thoughts. True leadership is not a monologue; it’s an ongoing conversation that invites and values the voices of everyone involved. This reflection helps ensure that you’re cultivating an environment of interest and engagement, rather than simply occupying the spotlight.
Overcoming Ego to Foster True Leadership
This shift isn’t always easy. It takes humility to admit you don’t have all the answers and courage to genuinely listen. There may be a fear of losing your authority. But true leadership isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room—or even the one in constant control. It’s about guiding others toward a shared vision where everyone feels they have a role to play.
Even for leaders who have been at this for years, there’s always room to explore new dimensions of empathy. It’s not just about listening better—it’s about adapting to the evolving needs and motivations of your team, using empathy as a tool to stay in tune with a dynamic workplace. This continuous refinement of empathy is what keeps a leader relevant and effective, regardless of experience. By staying curious about the people you lead—understanding their evolving challenges and aspirations—you transform your leadership. Engagement rises because people feel heard and valued, leading to a greater commitment to the work. Retention improves because employees are more likely to stay when they know their voice matters. Ultimately, decisions are made smarter, informed by a wealth of perspectives that make solutions more well-rounded and resilient.
Your expertise as a leader is invaluable, but the real power lies not just in what you know, but in what you’re willing to discover. When you shift from trying to be the most interesting person in the room to being the most curious, you create an environment where everyone rises together. Imagine the skald, once the captivating storyteller, setting aside their own tale to instead help others tell theirs—this is the true essence of leadership. It’s about using your platform to amplify the voices of others and to craft a collective narrative that everyone feels part of.
Embrace curiosity. Let your leadership be defined not by the stories you tell alone, but by the space you create for others to share, learn, and grow. Be the leader who doesn’t just captivate, but who connects, listens, and grows alongside their team. Then perhaps the role of the skald and the leader can merge—where storytelling and genuine connection become the true foundation of impactful leadership.
